Is that a Helicopter? No, it’s just me
I’ve been called a helicopter Mom. I’m ok with that. Yes, I was a bit…over cautious, shall we say…with M. She was my first child, and I had no experience with infants. What was I supposed to do? I’m not a relaxed person by nature, so why would having a tiny baby, completely dependent on me for safety and care, change that?
It’s never bothered me to be told that I needed to relax. I did what made me comfortable. My mom, friends and family members used to laugh at me. I was frantic when M started to walk, and I was never more than inches away – what if she fell and bumped her head? How about when she learned to sit up and was always surrounded by a wall of pillows? Again..head bump? No thank you. At the playground? I was that Mom, who was right behind her child climbing the ladder and then rushing to be at the bottom of the slide. I don’t remember, but maybe I thought she’d get lost on the way down? Even now, I get a little nervous watching her run through the park. Does she see that opening at the top of the slide? What if she falls off? There is no malicious intent here. I just worry. I just don’t want my kids to get hurt. I haven’t relaxed too much since having Abs, either. Maybe a tiny bit…Maybe not. Depends who you ask.
The problem with being careful with your kids, is that you never lose the label. Once a Helicopter Mom, always a Helicopter Mom. It’s fair to laugh at me about the pillow walls, the way my home resembles an insane asylum with rubber corner guards, or the fact that neither of my kids had a blanket in her crib until after 2 years old. It’s funny, I wholeheartedly agree. I’d laugh, too, if it were you acting like a nut job.
The problem? Once you get labeled ‘Careful’, ‘Cautious’, ‘Neurotic’, or ‘Bat-shit crazy’ you can’t shake it. Now, I get eye rolls when I put sunblock on my kids. A friend shakes her head at me because I have safety gates on my stairs (I have a 2 year old and tall stairs!) I check my kids for ticks after a day of playing in the grass. Have I ever seen one? Yep, pulled one out of M’s hair a few months ago. Tell me you wouldn’t worry after that. I dare you! I was the punchline of the joke recently when I cleaned up a huge spill of water on a slick floor where my kids were running. I can’t do anything. I swear, at this point, I have to let M take the car out for a spin, or let them walk down our busy street alone for people to stop telling me to cut the cord…
I get it. I’m probably funny to watch. The crazy lady who thinks her kids are about to break. The one with the 2 kids so greased up with SPF 50 that they look like Powder. I bet it’s hilarious. Please, by all means, laugh when I deserve it. I really do know when I’m acting nutty, but I still do it. I don’t care. I do what keeps me comfortable. The only thing you’re accomplishing by telling me I need to relax is taking yourself right off our babysitting list. If that’s your goal, you have succeeded! If it’s not, stuff it.
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Posted by LZ on August 31, 2009
Filed under: Daily Life, People who Suck
Tags: careful, cautious mom, helicopter mom, worrier
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August 31, 2009
I was just thinking the other day about what a neurotic mom I was with my first child. I did the pillows and the following closely behind at the playground, vigilantly protecting that head. I did not have a bruiser. I had a clumsy, wobbly child. It was warranted. So I tell myself.
Amy´s last blog ..What I Miss about Being Catholic
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August 31, 2009
I’ve gotta say my husband might have you beat. He’s doing better now that the kids are much older but… Here’s a few examples – Son was not allowed to wear shorts because he might fall down & skin his knee. Even in the house. Daughter had saran wrap wrapped her waist, wrists & ankles then had everything secured w/ duct tape. Not only the saran wrap but also the winter clothes. In fact by the time she got outside she was screaming because she was so hot! I still tease him but only because he’s such a caring dad.
I do the sunblock routine & maybe a few others that you’ll end up doing once yours are my age too. We had head lice a few months ago & I’m still checking everyone’s head! Keep up the good work mom.
Sues2u2´s last blog ..Happy 18th Anniversary, Hubby
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August 31, 2009
I’m like that too. I anticipate every tiny thing. I imagine the worst in all scenarios. My husband’s family think I’m overly cautious, but I don’t care. I’m about to start baby proofing my house for my baby who’s nearly crawling. Argh here we go again.
Lady Mama´s last blog ..Daddy go wine?
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August 31, 2009
I am overly cautious in some areas and lax in others…we are the parents & there is no other worse feeling when an accident happens….I have been to the ER with Ben twice so far…NOT FUN!! I get teased about the fact that my boys are 6 & 4, my oldest has only been left w/someone other than my husband or I 4 times! My younger one has never been left with anyone, until preschool this morning…we just have adjusted our lives to that….
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August 31, 2009
Well, then, call me a helicopter, too! LOL!
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August 31, 2009
Wait, I haven’t even told you how much I like the new look and header!
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August 31, 2009
Hey – who’s making fun of you!? Let me know and I’ll knock ‘em out!
We live and learn. We’re all like that, especially with our first. And anyone who tells you they aren’t nervous with their first (and sometimes their second third and fourths) is a liar. I wouldn’t use you as one of my “go-to” mom’s if I thought you were too far over the top. Careful and cautious, yes, but over the top, no. I definitely feel more comfortable the second time around but I am trying to balance it a little more with still watching out for them – as a clutzy person, I don’t want my kids to go through the same pain I do but I also can’t put them in a bubble so it’s a balance. And yes my friend, you still need a gate with a 2 year old. It doesn’t mean you don’t let them walk up and down the stairs, it just means you’re with them when they do it! You know where to tell those people to go! 
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August 31, 2009
You do realize that we all thought you were normal until you just spilled the beans with this post, don’t you?
blueviolet´s last blog ..Here’s What My Monday Looks Like
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August 31, 2009
I was the same way! what can we do? They are our little ones and we have to protect them, right? Right?!?!?
Sara @ Domestically Challenged´s last blog ..Elijah’s Musings
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September 1, 2009
Twitter: ThetaMom
I’m a helicopter mom, too. We’ll probably have our own airport soon!
Theta Mom´s last blog ..Top 10 List: Reasons You Know You Are a Theta Mom
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September 5, 2009
Twitter: BOREDmommy
I have never heard the term Helicopter Mom before, but I am definitely that Mom. I have to be because my husband is the exact opposite – at least one of us has to be neurotic enough to keep the kids safe, and that falls on me. I won’t apologize for it. It can be tiring to keep up though, don’t you think?
Maria @BOREDmommy´s last blog ..MAMAVATION – Weekly Update
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September 11, 2009
“Bat shit crazy” – I love it! And I love this post. I totally agree with you. I do what makes me comfortable with my daughter and people think I am controlling or overbearing. Oh well. And you’re right, it only takes them off the babysitting list.
Amy´s last blog ..Check Us Out
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