Joe and I went to a wedding this weekend. It was a much needed day out to be adults, to dress up, to have a glass of wine, and to socialize. I always get nervous leaving for more than a few hours, but while getting ready that day, I wasn’t nervous at all – just excited! We rarely get out without the girls.
At the reception, we sat at a table with Joe’s friends from work – and a good friend of mine, who has a new baby girl. After catching up and making small talk, I realized I was drained. Tapped. I had nothing else to talk about except my kids. How can this be? I have interests. I have hobbies. I have other things going on. Right? Well…not really. No matter what the group was talking about, I found some way to relate it to the girls. One person got a new job as a teacher? ‘Oh, really…M goes to school and loves it, and….(blah, blah, blah)’ Another victim guest was a nurse practitioner. ‘What do you think about flu shots for kids? Have you seen any reactions that I should worry about?’ Just bought a new house? I can relate that to poopy diapers if you give me the chance. If the topic moves to allergies or sleeping, watch out. I can make drying paint look fascinating. If I start talking strollers, you’re going to need a blanket and pillow.
I used to work. I used to go out. I don’t necessarily miss either, but they gave me something to talk about. I’m not anti-social, but I am seriously doubting my abilities to talk about much else. Even Joe, when at work, is subject to vivid descriptions of diapers, vomit, chores, and grocery shopping. As I’m dialing the phone, or about to bring up any of these subjects to him, I know he could not be less entertained by my tales…not matter how fascinating or hilarious I think they are. I just can’t stop myself.
What else do I like to talk about? TV and pop culture. If you tell me that you don’t have kids and don’t watch TV, I’m not sure you’ll want to hear anything I have to say! It’s not you…it’s me. Definitely me.
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{ 22 comments… read them below or add one }
oh, L, I went though this “identity crisis” when I left work, too, which culminated in a crescendo of self-doubt one evening before a wedding reception or some other similar social event that in years past I looked forward to with giddy anticipation… until my husband pointed out to me, “Jana, if the only thing interesting about you was your work, then you really have a problem!” Touche, Mr. Quinn.
Sure, everyone agrees that there’s little else more mind-numbing than some blowhard droning on and on about her kid’s poop or latest obsession with princesses (both of which I admit to being guilty of on various occasions, but I digress.) But even with those stories, you’re still the funny, sarcastic, bright, intelligent girl you were before M and Abs… now you just have more material!
good blogging… keep up the good work!
Don’t underestimate the value of good TV and pop culture knowledge! That’s pretty universal material right there…
Norm — Meet In the Lobby´s last blog ..New Movie Poster: PIRATE RADIO
No doubt! But when I’m talking to someone who tells me they have never heard of the Office or Perez Hilton, I can’t be too optimistic!
Well, to make things worse with me, I can’t even talk about work! I am a scientist and that is usually more boring to people than talking about my son! Don’t worry, when we go to the Aiming Low event, you won’t bore me with kid talk!
Kameron´s last blog ..When Will I POP??
I will have my best poop stories ready for your amusement!
I think I’m boring too. Maybe we’re exciting to other Moms & Dads?
dramaqueensmum´s last blog ..
I so hear you. My husband joke when we go out about the “over/under” of how long we can go without talking about the kids. It’s usually less than 7 minutes. I think all parents universally agree that their biggest topic of conversation is the kids. It’s only the childless people who are bored with it and sadly I feel like I can’t relate to those childless people anymore. At least you’re ahead of me in that you HAVE hobbies. I’m still working on that since my only hobby is tweeting and blogging and people REALLY don’t want to hear about that!
Join my club. I remember having intellectual conversations. Those were great.
Are you sure that you’re not talking about me? I swear that you are. My kids are over the whole poopy diapers & stuff like that but I still drone on & on & on & on….. Where does the insanity stop?!
Thanks for letting me know that I’m not alone! OH & did you hear that the judge told the Gosselins to use their arbitrator & basically shut up & work things out? (couldn’t help myself) lol
Sues2u2´s last blog ..But I HAD to, Mommy!
THIS post is the exact reason I started taking a girl’s night out at least once a month. I really felt as though I was a big domestic uninteresting zero. I know just how you feel. And…….
You’re not boring. I think your posts and comments are pretty interesting/funny.
nancy@ifevolutionworks.com´s last blog ..Tooth Fairy, Santa & Gizmo
Thank you!
im the exact same way..lol
Great, now you have me scared… I have a party to go to this weekend with my husbands coworkers. I have never met any of them and they are all beyond child bearing years. I should start brainstorming now on topics to discuss. I’ll just stuff my purse with hundreds of pictures of my girls- I mean everybody wants to see my mobile slideshow… right?
They do! and they want to hear the crayon poop story. The wedding got much easier after 2 glasses of wine…maybe try that route?
I’m not a mom. . .yet, but I can tell you that the fear that your subject matter is boring to others is not yours alone. I feel the exact same way! I work from home, something I have always wanted to do even when I was working on fast-paced TV show sets. I have, however, come to realize that all I talk about is my blog. It’s like a child to me, at least until I have my “real” baby;-)
I have some advice, advice that helps me. In all honesty, it’s not WHAT you talk about but HOW you deliver it. Almost everything is boring until we weave it into an entertaining story. So, it’s not the subject matter but the method. I use this logic and hope it helps!
Lydia, Clueless Crafter´s last blog ..Falling for Folly Cove Design
Oh yes, that’s another topic I can’t get enough of. My blog…I could devote an entire post to that fact that I talk about it waaaaay too much.
It’s so true! I remember being excited to be out with my husband and all we did was talk about the kids. We tried so hard but there wasn’t anything else to say. We gave in and rolled with it. I suspect you do too.
It’s definitely an occupational hazard. Just remember that the best way to be considered a fascinating conversationalist is to ask questions that draw out the other person. Most people think you’re scintillating when you let them talk about themselves.
I can also relate to this. I often find myself trying new things since I lost my job a year ago. I have an 8 yr old boy and a 13 month old girl and my life is them too. I picked up crocheting and knitting, I am taking an online class and trying Martha Stewart recipes to avoid getting “boring”. But I do not make excuses because I love the life I have with my kids I would not trade it for the job I had. I know what you are feeling and no, you are not boring. Love your tweets!
Oh we don’t out. At all.
After my kids are in bed we sit, watch T.V. drink wine, eat ice cream. Fall asleep on the sofa.
Repeat. Every night. Welcome to my life.
Amanda´s last blog ..FOUR THOUSAND DOLLARS
I don’t know if I should feel comforted or disturbed that so many moms are in the same boat!
Loved the post!
Yep, this is me too. It’s so frustrating. I try hard not to talk about the kids all the time but it’s all I’ve got these days. Sometimes I sit quietly and nod my head hoping something related to the conversation will creep in.
I like your blog. Found you through Mom Bloggers Club Follow Group. I’m now following and looking forward to reading more.
2 Toddlers and Me´s last blog ..Toddler Talk Tuesday