I’m a zombie. Every single day. Help.
I am begging for help. All of you. Any advice for keeping the peace at night with 2 kids sharing a room?
My daughters are 5 and 2. My youngest has turned into a terrible sleeper lately. She goes to sleep fine at bedtime, but then wakes up between 1 and 2, and is usually inconsolable. I am not against letting her cry it out, but it’s impossible with another child in the room. M can sleep through it for a while, but even she has her limits. Once she’s up, it’s a nightmare at our house. I can’t leave the room with Abs without M having a fit, everything becomes much more chaotic when they’re both awake.
Ideally, they’d have their own rooms, but it’s not possible for us right now. 2nd best option is taking M out for a bit, and letting Abs work though it. Also, not much of an option, as our walls are thin, and we have neighbors.
So, what’s left to do? I don’t have a big problem letting her sleep with me. However, we did this with M and it lasted more than year. Fun times. Lately, I’ve been trying to get to my screaming toddler before she wakes her sister. I take her in the den and lay down with her. She always goes back to sleep, but then wakes up the second I try to get up and walk her back to her room. We’ve resorted to camping out on the floor so I can get some sleep.
She won’t go to Daddy and just screams for me until I get her.
As I said, M was a terrible sleeper. She slept in our room, in some form or another (a sleeping bag, a toddler bed, etc.) for over a year – actually closer to 2 years, and now sleeps very well in her own bed. I know the problems can be corrected later, but I’d rather try anything now that will keep all of us sleeping where we’re supposed to!
Any advice from those who have been there? Even if you haven’t, what would you try?
I’d really love to sleep in my own bed all night. The floor and the couch are starting to take their toll on me!
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Posted by LZ on February 2, 2010
Filed under: Daily Life, The Monsters, When I stink at my job
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February 2, 2010
I’m sorry that I don’t have any advice for you, but I wanted you to know that I am going through something similar. My 4 year old goes to sleep with either me or his daddy reading him a few books and lying down beside him until he dozes off. Then I put my 2 year old to sleep (or vice versa) on my bed, we read a few books, watch some TV, drink milk, and he falls asleep beside me. Then I put him to his crib. At 1 a.m. without fail, he’ll wake up and insist on coming back to my bed… my hubby sleeps with our 4 year old in his queen sized bed. And that’s how it is almost every single night! I won’t let my baby cry it out… never did that and I’m not going to start now… it’s tough, isn’t it? The broken sleep… every night… sigh! Good luck to you!
Loukia´s last blog ..Three: An anniversary, of sorts
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LZ replied:
February 2nd, 2010
Sorry to hear you’re going through it, too
With M, we used to have her falling asleep on one of us, either in our bed or on the couch. Finally, we had enough (actually, Joe had enough) it she adjusted fairly easily. We played musical beds for so long! When she got her twin bed, we usually found her in our bed, and either Joe or I ended up in her bed. At least we all slept…
Abs has usually fussed for a few minutes and then put herself back to sleep. Not sure why she can’t anymore. I guess she just thinks I’m very snuggly!
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February 2, 2010
Twitter: SassyModernMom
OH I am so sorry you are having a hard time! Wish I had some words of advice….all I can offer are hugs…and wish you lots of coffee!
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February 2, 2010
No advice here, either, since I’m stuck in between my 3 yr old and 18 month old every night hoping one of them doesn’t wake the other while my husband deals with our 6 year old. I hear teenagers really like to sleep, though, so there’s always that if we can last that long.
C @ Kid Things´s last blog ..What it Means to Me
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February 2, 2010
I am sorry that I can’t help you either. I would say be patient, but that is easier said than done. At our house my 2 year old jumps out of his crib, so I have to sit in his room until he falls alseep. I have let him cry it out when he was younger but it broke my heart. It was the worst. He has done something similar to me when he was younger, so I would take him downstairs, lay on the couch with him, and watch tv until he fell asleep. Then we would sleep there together all night. Now ideal – but it worked and I got some sleep too!
Pres. Kathy´s last blog ..It has been a long time. . . .
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February 2, 2010
I do not know how people with sleepless children do not just have mental breakdowns. I just don’t think I could do it. I mean, I guess you don’t have an option other than running away to a tropical island. I wish I could give you advice, but thank God, all 3 of mine have always slept through for 10 hour stretches. If anything, I am sure it is great birth control so you won’t have a 3rd sleepless baby!
Michele´s last blog ..I can say this on my blog because you don’t read it…
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LZ replied:
February 2nd, 2010
Ha! So true. If we ever get the thought that we’d like a 3rd, one of the girls reminds us what having an infant is like. The worst part about this is that Abs was an awesome sleeper from the beginning. up until recently, she was guaranteed 11-12 hours a night. M as the problem. Now M is better and Abs is up all night. Why????
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February 2, 2010
Another non-helpful commenter here, lol. I wish I knew how to get kids to sleep well – mine have all been pretty awful about sleeping solidly through the night. My 2year old is a big fan of 5:30 am wake ups. He eventually falls back asleep – and I usually nod off for all of 10 minutes before my alarm goes off – yuck.
Hope the phase passes quickly for you!
Laurie´s last blog ..PROMPTuesday: Creativity
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February 3, 2010
You have my sympathy & hopes that this is a phase that Abs will get through quickly. Oh & neither of my kids shared a room – they are 5 yrs apart & the opposite sex.
Why don’t you try the sleeping bag in your room again? I know it’s hard since Abs was such an awesome sleeper but maybe she just needs some type of reassurance for a bit. And I’m impressed that M only ended up sleeping w/ you or in your room for such a short time. From the time we brought my daughter home she slept in our bed off & on until last year & she’s almost 8.
Sues2u2´s last blog ..one of the funniest things EVER!
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February 3, 2010
Two ideas~
Either make it more or less inviting if you want her to move out on her own. Just one blanket on floor might make her want to make the move sooner. But if there’s fussing, maybe make it cozy so you can skip the zombie-ness the next day 
Let her camp out in your room, small child size sleeping bag, or just pillow & some blankets next to your bed. Just let her do what the older one did. They WILL grow out of it, won’t be 13 and wanting to sleep in your room
Or some sort of comfort item in her room. Nightlight, glow~worm, lamp that does one of those lightshows (constellations or something), white noise, humidifier. Anything that can keep her in comfort zone there. Play around, giving each item 2-3 days maybe?
ugh. It would be SO much easier if there was a one-size-fits-all!!!!
Ann´s last blog ..Child trafficking/adopting/rescuing in Haiti
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February 3, 2010
I have some bad news – I think the Real definition of mother hood is sleep deprivation
I think you just have to try lots of different things – every child is different
Karrine´s last blog ..Top Mommy Blog Networks and Directories
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February 5, 2010
This is what I try to do with my own: If your 2 yr old is napping, try napping her earlier or for a shorter duration…and try keeping her up a little longer at night..i know that sounds exhausting and annoying but when my own kids (3yr and 2 yr) are WIPED OUT, they sleep most soundly. I’ve had to make adjustments with their naps and bedtimes to help us ALL sleep better at night. Good luck and I hope this helps!!
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February 5, 2010
I would leave Abs to cry it out and bring M in to sleep with you or set up a mattress for her in the den. Do you turn any lights on when you go to console her? I would keep everything as dark as possible and not talk at ALL. Sometimes when I go in to Kainoa’s room in the middle of the night I keep my eyes closed so he’ll pick up the hint that it DEFINITELY is not time to get up!
Ugh…sounds like a nightmare! (no pun intended!)
Mama Kat´s last blog ..Writer’s Workshop: Open Letter To Grumpy Bear
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February 5, 2010
Our 2 year old will party like a rock star at night if he DOES take a nap during the day. This is a pretty new cycle he’s on because he used to pull in a 3 hour nap every morning… but not anymore. We are finding that the key is to allow the sleeping in the car if it happens– which only qualifies as light sleep… and then avoid the bedroom nap even if he looks like he’s going to keel over. Then we read to him on the couch or something until he rallies to finish the day. Once in bed, if he does get up — he’s usually too tired to fight to stay up and the rocking chair does the trick… The patience must be wearing on M though.
Ry Sal ´s last blog ..The Stuff of Genius.
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February 7, 2010
I tried to write a short answer but without all the details I couldn’t HAHA! So I wrote this instead:
http://neoterictraditional.blogspot.com/2010/02/night-time-waking-toddlers.html
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LZ replied:
February 8th, 2010
Awesome – I just read it, but haven’t had a chance to comment yet!
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February 8, 2010
I would have a chat with your neighbour, and tell him/her/them the problems that you’re having and then ask if it’s ok with them if you do the crying out method for about a week. Because if it works, then you all get more sleep!
If they are happy and understanding about that, then let the oldest have a bit of a camp out somewhere else – either your room or the lounge – and get the youngest used to being left in their room when she cries.
Often crying out is amazing swift after the first 2 nights, and the results make everyone so much happier – including the child.
And of course adjust day time sleeps if necessary too.
pixielation´s last blog ..Going for birthdays, bolting and bling
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February 8, 2010
Oh how I wish I had advice for you. My amazing little sleeper Luke is going through something as well. Up ALL night screaming unless I’m holding him. He just got over being sick so maybe that’s the problem but it’s painful. And he has started climbing out of his crib when he gets so upset. I’m also a zombie. Miserable. Angry. Did I mention miserable?
Good luck – let me know what works!
becca´s last blog ..Flawed
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LZ replied:
February 8th, 2010
That’s the trouble here, too. She was an awesome sleeper! Up until now, we could count on one hand the number of times she woke during the night. Normally 11-12 hours a night without a peep.
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February 11, 2010
I remember those days, so I feel for you. My kids still share a room at ages eleven and seven, so now we have a good routine. Sorry but I have no help to offer – I think I used to resort to threats of lost TV or some important stuffed animal.
Theresa Milstein´s last blog ..Just in Case
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