I’m a stay at home mom. I am always with one or both of my girls. One is in preschool. One is home with me. All. The. Time. When the opportunity presents itself, I can’t wait to get away from them. You never see me run so fast. I don’t do it often because child care isn’t easy for us, and Joe works long enough hours that I’m not looking to spend too much time away from him on the weekends. It’s usually just easier to not have a sitter and all do something together.
Does that make a crappy mom? Possibly. What it certainly means is that I spend a lot of time with them. All day, every day. My 7 days a week are all the same.
I saw a few discussions this week about BlogHer (check out some great posts: here and here), and the feelings of missing one’s children, or guilt because of going without them. I can not relate. At all. I’m considering staying a couple extra days…{not really, but I so would!!} I’ve joked that I may skip that parties and hang in my room with a book and silence. 2 things that are more precious than gold to me.
I’ll come home, thrilled to see my family, but I am doubtful that I will feel anything but utter joy and relaxation while I’m there.
Kids? What kids? Who’s Joe?
Related posts:
{ 23 comments… read them below or add one }
Thank god you’ve said this. I’m still new enough at this mom-thing that I’m afraid to admit I feel the exact same way. It’s definitely because we’re home with them all the time, right? If I worked somewhere else 40 hours a week, heck yeah I’d want the weekend with her. But come’on. The luxuriousness of walking around somewhere without bag-stroller-nuk-blanket-hat-squirmy-heavy-not-walking-child? It’s kind of like walking on air.
I try to convince my hub that this 7 day a week job can’t get long … he just doesn’t get it. He looked very complexed the one time I wanted to just go to the stinkin’ mall without them. I don’t even like the mall much.
You’re exactly right, though. If I worked, I would be rushing to get to them, and probably wanting to be with them all weekend, too. The grass is always greener…
I feel the same way. I’m with my kids all. the. time. We had a date night this past weekend, which only lasted 2 hours and was our first since June, and it was the most peaceful 2 hours I can think of. Did I miss my kids? No. I was afraid that they were burning down the house, but I didn’t miss them.
C @ Kid Things´s last blog ..Date Night
Soooo…it’s not a good thing that I DO work 40hrs and still jump at a chance for kid-free time?
Don’t get me wrong, I love my kids but I crave adult fun as well. So if hubby and I get a chance to do a night out I am SO EXCITED!!
Carrie´s last blog ..What I learned…
Ha! Not even close…I take it back…I think I’d still need my alone time, but possibly to the point where no one in my house would recognize me. I can just see why working moms feel guilty or sad about leaving their children for any length of time.
Me too! Me too! Everyone worried about me at the girls preschool for the first few weeks because they were crying “Want Mommy!” as their teachers walked them to their classroom. Little did they know I was racing to get back to the car not because I was about to cry. When I won a trip to Hawaii we didn’t even consider taking the girls. Part of it that we know they are happy without us there (they love school and being babysat by the grandparents) but part of it is that I know I need that time alone. I am suspicious of moms that don’t.
Kate, aka guavalicious´s last blog ..Big Wheels Keep On Turning
I get the guilt thing and even feel it from time to time, but when I’m out without the kids it’s usually because a. I busy with a lot of running around errands, b. I’m out with my girls thus my brain is totally engrossed in conversation with other women who also aren’t missing their kids, or c. they’re with their grandparents thus filling up on sweets and Disney movies and toys while I’m doing something not so fun.
My 6 year old totally gets it. While she has her sad moments, mostly when Grandma has reprimanded her, she usually can’t be bothered to even talk to me on the phone HAHA! When she was still 5 I asked her “Don’t you miss me even a little bit?” she replied “I love you so much that I don’t have to miss you.” Well said Little One, well said.
Cranky Sarah´s last blog ..OOTW
I’m totally stealing that line!
Couldn’t agree with you more! When I leave I obviously leave them with others who live them so why worry! Takes a village to raise a child and all that.
PS Thanks for the plug & comment! Counting down the days to BlogHer!
Christine LaRocque´s last blog ..Time away
When my youngest went to pre-school this year FINALLY (oops, did I say that?), I was beyond ecstatic. It was downright unseemly. Did not miss them. at. all. Still don’t. It makes me think of that Oscar Wilde quote that I will surely misquote, but it’s something like, “There is no child so wonderful but that his mother does not love to see him asleep”.
dusty earth mother´s last blog ..A Girl Scout Cookie Chain of Events
*raises hand* me too. I love my kid, but when we spend time apart, I am totally okay with that. I think it helps that she’s okay with it too- she never freaks out or cries for me, whether she’s with my husband or Grandma or whoever. And I think it’s great, because when I get the ‘Me Time’ I can really have ‘Me Time’ and focus on that instead of worrying about her
Jen´s last blog ..change of plans
I am 110% with you. When Annika was 6 months old I took a girls trip to Mexico to celebrate my 30th. I had friends who wouldn’t go for the week due to missing their children… and let me tell you, when I was soaking up rays on that beach, I did not have one second thought. Daddy was getting quality time with his girls and so was I! When I hear women say, “I can’t stand to be away from my kids.” I just know they can not possibly be SAHM’s, or they are just plain nuts.
Michele´s last blog ..13 Tips When Getting a Tattoo
Thanks for the link!
Anyway, so I work full-time – maybe that is why I have all this extra guilt? Like, I’m already gone from 9 to 5 everyday… I don’t know.. but good for you for not feeling guilty and YAY that you’re going to BlogHer – I’m soooo excited to go and to meet you!!!
Loukia´s last blog ..Evil pregnant sister
No way does that make you a bad mom! I admire people who take frequent breaks from their kids – they’re normally the well-balanced ones. Good for you, and I think you definitely should take an extra few days to yourself.
Lady Mama´s last blog ..Love after kids.
Dude! When I get time away from my daughter I LOVE IT! I don’t miss her and my milk doesn’t let down when I think about her. Quite the opposite. My boobs are like YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS FREEDOM!
My mom used to go camping by herself. She’d drive to the campground & dad would follow w/ the trailer. They’d have one day together & then he’d leave her there for about a week. He’d go back on Fri after work & we’d see them sometime on Sunday. My mom was always so much happier & we loved the time w/ our grandparents. If I had someone to leave my kids w/ you betcha I’d be gone!
And I sent my 3 yr old to 4 hrs/3 x a week preschool so that I could have some time alone. It was that or go insane.
Sues2u2´s last blog ..A walk w/ my son…
I think I miss the baby more than my toddler when I’m at work. i guess it is just because I haven’t had enough time with her in the morning and she goes to bed at 7 so I barely see her during the week. Nate, on the other hand, has been in the full blown terrible twos lately and I jump at the chance to drop him off at grandma and grandpa’s house! Ha! Bad mommy!
Kameron´s last blog ..Arielle at 3 months
I must have been born without that gene too…I am with my son everyday almost all day so when I get a chance to go out with the girls or go on a vacay by myself I do not feel bad. It makes us better Mom’s to get away and be refreshed when we come back
i agree- though I sorta feel bad! I guess I spend SO much time with kids- at home, at school, all the time. I know how much I NEED that time away from them, so I cherish it just as I cherish them when I am back.
Sara @ Domestically Challenged´s last blog ..Another Sappy One…and it’s gonna get long.
Amen! I am SO with you on this. It would have to be about a week in before I start missing. I also just want to read and have silence when I am away.
Wish I was going to Blogher – I hate that it’s sold out!!!
Natalie at Mommy on Fire´s last blog ..Pretending To Be Me
Cheers to dreams of ME TIME. seriously… Seeerrriiioouuuusssllly.
Ry Sal´s last blog ..Nana Inspired #2 – I jumped off the boat…
I am the exact same way. Between working full time and then feeling like I have an obligation to WANT to be home with Mads every second of my free time – when in reality, some nights I am counting not only the minutes, but the seconds till bedtime, just for some peace and quiet. Don’t get me wrong, I adore and love my daughter to pieces, but, damn, is 10 minutes of quiet before 9pm too much to ask for? LOL
HaB´s last blog ..A Laundry Pile Full of Memories
I also missed out on that gene. Our neighborhood has a co-op preschool where parents have to stay and help the teachers. One year of that and I took on the motto, “If I’m going to pay, I’m not going to stay”!!! Yay for drop-off!!!