Snips and Snails

Knock, knock?

Sorry, LZ is not home, but Christine, from Coffees and Commutes is here filling in!

I’m so glad that Christine agreed to write a guest post! I love her honest writing about her life as a working mom of 2 boys, and she is, by far, one of the nicest people you’ll have the pleasure of talking with on Twitter.

Enjoy!

I have two sons. One is 15 months, the other almost four. They are both what you would call “boy boys.” It’s particularly obvious in my oldest who is already firmly rooted in his very own personality. He loves everything male: trucks, dirt, tools, dinosaurs, and demolition. This part of him, this intense part of him is so foreign to me that I struggle to keep up.

I am not into sand and getting dirty, I cannot understand the allure of a power tool and a mess drives me bananas. And yet, I’m raising a young man who loves this stuff to his very core.

Recently I had a conversation with a friend about how challenging I find his form of play. Everything is about fighting and aggression and hurtling oneself headlong into furniture and, to be quite honest, people. Noise levels have reached a new pitch and often involve some form of roar. The pure unbridled energy of it all wears me out. One does not come out unscathed, even when just playing with pint-sized toy dinosaurs. Your hands are sure to be scratched and bruised.

What is delightful about his personality is the relationship that it has kindled with his father, who is very much the same. The two of them spend hours finding things to keep them busy in the garage or in the yard. I am so impressed by how my husband includes in him in every activity and marvel at the patience he displays even though tasks may take triple the time they would if he were to do them without his “little helper”. He just finds a way to make it work for a 4-year- old. I know this will pay huge dividends in the future.

And so I struggle with how to make my own connection with him and to learn how to relate to him on a level that works for him. I don’t want to temper his personality, I want him to do what comes natural. But, I also want to instil compassion, sensitivity and a sense of responsibility in this young man that I am raising.

Do you have boys? How do you make the connection? What special things do you do to nurture his personality but that’s just for the two of you? How do you teach him compassion and sensitivity?

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Posted by LZ on May 24, 2010
Filed under: Guest Posts
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5 Comments

Michelle
May 24, 2010
I’ve been pretty lucky in that Finn, while obsessed {mild understatement} with tools, cars, trucks, and crashing everything in sight, also loves to help me cook, reading books, and doing art projects like sidewalk chalk or painting. It isn’t something I intentionally fostered, but I think it is something I’ll be a bit more conscious of thanks to this post.
Michelle´s last blog ..Compost Cookies

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Sues2u2
May 24, 2010
Yep, I’m w/ Michelle. My “baby” is now 13 & he’ll still help me in the kitchen or sometimes paint things w/ me. Now if I could only translate that into better grades we’d be cooking w/ gas!

He can drive pretty well although if you need him to back up, make sure you’re standing behind him so that he’ll actually look where he’s driving! lol
Sues2u2´s last blog ..Summer means…

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Aging Mommy
May 24, 2010
I only have one daughter but she also sees Daddy as the one for play, the one for the fun stuff in life, I think it is the natural order typically of things. But there are things my husband does not enjoy, like getting messy which our daughter absolutely loves, so painting is one of “our” things. So I think you need to discover something that you and your son both love that perhaps your husband does not and make it “your” thing – maybe swimming, or just something that he connects to you.
Aging Mommy´s last blog ..Ode to Toodles

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Deb
May 26, 2010
Twitter: noreturnmom
What a sweet and thoughtful post!

I wouldn’t worry too much about not being into boy things. As much as they crave action and trucks and noise, little boys love doing quieter things with Mommy, too. I have a son and a daughter, but in our case the boy is a little more sensitive and the girl much rowdier. There are times when they each love running around like maniacs and others when they’re fine with just snuggling. My husband is much better at thinking (acting) like a kid in general, but I’ve learned to stop trying to woo the kids by being something I’m not. Gotta just grab your opportunities when they present.
Deb´s last blog ..Quiet time epiphanies

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Cranky Sarah
June 6, 2010
Twitter: mommyiscranky
Oh the energy! What to do with all that energy?! I wish my husband was good at involving them in projects with him.
And he needs such different discipline than my 2 girls do, but I can’t quite seem to figure it out.
Cranky Sarah´s last blog ..I don’t accept “Boys will be boys”

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