3 is a crowd in our small house

There was a time when we talked about having a 3rd child. Then, one or both of the girls started getting up at night again, and we I realized that we just might not stay sane going through that again.

I’ve read that people who have kids close together tend to have more children, probably because they never really get to that ‘easier’ phase, with both (or more) kids out of diapers, sleeping through the night, able to entertain themselves a bit, in school. It makes sense. While every child adds more responsibility, if you’re used to getting up at night, it isn’t such a big deal. If you already carry a diaper bag, what’s a few more diapers?

Speaking of up at night in the early months…I can remember almost everything with M. She was the first, it was all new. Sometimes, sometimes, I loved being up with her in the wee hours of the morning. It was just us. It was ‘found’ time. Even when she’d go back to sleep, I might stay up. I still had the luxury of ‘sleep when the baby sleeps.’ MTV was the only thing on. I still have a fondness for the songs ‘Mr. Brightside’ by The Killers and ‘Get Right’ by Jennifer Lopez because they were the only 2 songs that they played in Winter ’04-05 (except the rare ‘Boulevard of Broken Dreams’ by Green Day thrown in and a Keene song with a video about rabbits.)

I digress.

My girls are older. One is entering Kindergarten, and the other is entering pre-school. I can’t help but think we’d be fools to consider altering this seemingly perfect arrangement. I wish I were that mom. You know, the one who has boundless energy, or the ability to pretend she does. The one who can always come up with new, fun things to do. The one who never seems flustered by mess or chaos. I wish I needed less sleep and alone time.

I’m not. I don’t.

Posted by LZ on June 3, 2010
Filed under: Daily Life, Getting Old, Love, Honor, OBEY, The Monsters
Tags:

8 Comments

Michelle
June 3, 2010
Dave and I were just discussing this. Finn is 3 now and if I got pregnant right this very second we would have another just before he turns 4… it’s so EASY now to get a sitter, to not have to carry a diaper bag, to say let’s jump in the car and go on a roadtrip. It is exceedingly difficult to make the decision to go back to diapers, middle of the night feedings, and teething.
Michelle´s last blog ..Blog Tips.

Reply to This Comment
C @ Kid Things
June 3, 2010
I have 3, but I have to say I am not that mom, either. I can honestly say we wouldn’t have had as many if we had been in our right minds, or even planning. We’re more “what happens, happens” type of people. And look what happened! I’m glad it did now, I love my kids, but I’m looking forward to the days when I feel more rested or not crawling out of a mountain of toys.
C @ Kid Things´s last blog ..Humongous

Reply to This Comment
Aging Mommy
June 3, 2010
I understand thinking this way – we have just one daughter and really wanted another baby but now it seems that will not happen and I try and console myself with the thought that now it would be a little late anyway as she would be 4 and the age gap a little big, we’d be starting all over again with sleep deprivation, diapers, no nights out etc and yet, if I could, I still would because for me, seeing my daughter get a little older makes me appreciate each and every time just how much more fun the newest phase is and each stage with her I am enjoying more than the last.

Reply to This Comment
kelly
June 3, 2010
I have three, they are 12, 12 and 10. I have a question though, When is that its gets easier time? Yes they do grow, and they grow out of diapers and bottles and such but with that comes a whole other list of things. I love my children, and yes they are close in age, but I honestly do not think I have ever said to myself, This is getting easier. In fact I would rather have more sleepless nights, than the teenage years that I am fast approaching.

Reply to This Comment
LZ replied:
June 4th, 2010
Oh sure, by easier (I certainly don’t mean ‘easy’ by any stretch, I just mean out of diapers, eating regular food, no diaper bag, sleeping through the night. Logically easier. Right now, I have one in diapers and one 5 year old. It is just easier for me to go out with my oldest. Less to prepare, pack, etc. Also, it feels a bit easier because I get a full night’s sleep each night. Going back to not sleeping would be tough after feeling like we got through the night waking stage.
I understand what you mean about them being teens too soon, though, but I’m definitely enjoying this phase where I sleep well at night and play with energy the next day!

Reply to This Comment
Kelly replied:
June 4th, 2010
Oh I know what you mean. I am jealous that you sleep through the night, my youngest still gets up at least once every night.
We have friends that have three and once her husband asked if it got easier, we just laughed. It does for a little while the ages 3-8 are the best. They hang on every word you say. Altough these teen expriences are hard, but they somewhat fun, and an all new learning stage for us.
Besides who knew we would all be taxi drivers one day.

Reply to This Comment
dusty earth mother
June 4, 2010
I’m pretty decent at pretending to be “that mom”, but we decided not to have a third. Because I’m fairly certain that with a third, I could not have continued to pretend.

Reply to This Comment
Cranky Sarah
June 5, 2010
Twitter: mommyiscranky
Oh, I’m NOT that mom! HAHA! My kids are 6, 4, and very soon 3. I’ve only experienced it one way, but I think it is probably easier to have them close together for the reasons you mentioned. I think it may seem like it would be easier to get 1 out of the baby phase, at least through potty training, before adding another, but then you have the issue of toting the baby -and all of the baby gear- to all the events for the older kid. 3 is hard, very hard, if only for the simple fact that you only have 2 arms, 2 hands, 2 legs (for a lap).
Cranky Sarah´s last blog ..OOTW: What I wore on my anniversary

Reply to This Comment