Kids are sticklers for ‘keeping promises.’ At least my kids are. At least M is.

Under no circumstance is it allowable to break a promise. Bleeding from the eyes, broken down car, act of nature…not acceptable excuses. Do what you said, or else.

I try to keep my promises. Actually, I try not to use the word ‘promise’ all that often, because it makes even the most enjoyable outing feel forced and obligatory knowing that M is standing by, ready to berate me (like only she can) if said plans do not materialize exactly the way I said they would.

Take today for instance…

I told M I would take her to a local arcade that has a cotton candy machine. Of course, this translated to her as, “M, I promise, cross my heart and all that jazz, that, no matter what, you will eat cotton candy today.”

So, we were just driving home from a quick errand, the cotton candy not mentioned once today. Until our ride home.

“Mom, when are we going to the arcade?”

“M, do you think it would be ok if we went tomorrow. I know I said promised we could go today, but Abs isn’t feeling great, and it’s getting late.”

“Sure, if you’re ok BREAKING PROMISES! Are you ok with that, Mommy?”

“No, M, but I’m talking to you like a big girl, and I was hoping you’d understand.”

“Well, I don’t understand breaking promises. Friends don’t break promises to each other. We’re friends, right?”

“Of course, we are. I was just hoping it would be ok if we went tomorrow. I’m not trying to break a promise and that’s why I asked.”

“So, are we going today? Like you promised?”

“Yes, M, we’ll go today…like I promised.”

“Good. Because you promised. I’m glad you’re keeping your promise.”

“Yes, M. Me, too.”

A few minutes later.

“Mommy, I think it’s great that you’re keeping your promise. You know, you shouldn’t break promises to people you love.”

sigh. “I know, M. That’s why we’re going. Because I promised.”

I thought the case was closed, but no such luck. The entire ride home, I was subjected to endless ranting about the importance of keeping one’s promises, the horror of breaking promises, and lessons on friendship and what that means when it comes to promises. In fact, while I typed this, she came up to me and gave me a huge kiss, and said, “I’m so glad you decided not to break your promise. Aren’t you?”

Lessons I’ve learned today:
1. Do NOT say the word promise. Ever. Unless you are making it clear that what are saying is not a promise, but merely a possibility.

2. When you tell her to do something and she says she will, ask her to promise. Therefore, when she does not pick up her toys, or put her books away, you can tell her that she broke a promise, and friends never, ever do that.

3. Tell M that promise is a dirty word, and she should not say it. Send her to time out when she does say it so you no longer have to listen to her say the word.

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