For the past several years, my mother has given me a hideous pair of pajamas each Christmas. Pajamas so ugly, that even Joe tells me I look like someone’s grandmother. Pajamas that definitely are not sexy. Pajamas that aren’t at all pretty.

This year’s pair? A 2-piece flannel pair so warm and comfy that I’m wearing them now, regardless of how grandmatronly I look. I’m warm and cozy. They’re black and dark blue. I look like a fuzzy, shapeless bruise.

They go perfectly with the Snuggie I got. Yes. A Snuggie. Also from my mother. It’s brown, looks like a potato sack, and is awesome. It’s ugly, but I can get past that…

I have never gotten a pair of pjs that are age appropriate. I’m in my mid-30′s. Should be easy. Solids colors, simple pjs. Maybe some t-shirts and sweat pants? In the past, I’ve received some with penguins on them, some with dragonflies. There have been a few nightgowns. Oh, and I can’t forget the myriad of robes. Not robes for getting out of the shower, but robes to wear around the house like jackets. One thing she certainly gets right is the warm factor. I am never cold in bed – mostly because she gets me pajamas that are warm enough to wear outside in the dead of Winter, but that’s the way I like them. I think her next purchase will be a flannel nightshirt with a matching cap.

We’ve come to the conclusion that my mother only wants 2 grandchildren, and is on a mission to make sure I never look cute or even close to my age when I go to bed. Little does she know who she is dealing with. A few years back, Joe bought me a pair of pjs, more comfy than anything else I own, yet bright red and covered in snowflakes. I’m starting to think it’s me. Is there something about me that screams, “I look hideous at night”?

I’ll start buying my own. Clearly no one else can get them right. Until then, anyone who dares make fun of me in my granny clothes and super staticky Snuggie is in for the electric shock of their lives. Kind of makes me want to wear them more often!

Today, I went into a local toy store with my 5 year old. As we were walking in, 2 ‘kids’ walked by. In a sentence that involved lots of swearing and totally fabricated details, one bragged to the other about his latest ‘conquest’ in a way that doesn’t even make much anatomical sense.

I shot him a look of death. I’m not a prude, but, buddy, use some common sense and don’t drop the f-bomb in front of a kids’ store, especially when there’s a child in front of you. It’s not rocket science. It’s common sense.

He saw my look, and countered by calling me a bitch.

In my infinite maturity, I said, “Oh, please. As if anyone believes you.” His friend laughed.

I got to the car and told Joe. I referred to them as ‘punk kids,’ which is the only part I’m embarrassed about. He applauded me for fighting with a kid who couldn’t have even been 13. I told him it was a lesson he needed to learn. Don’t swear in front of children, don’t brag about sex when it hasn’t happened, and if you attempt to make shit up, at least try to sound like you know what you’re talking about!

Little turd.

It’s not-your-average Top Ten Thursday – another giveaway! We have a set of 9 holiday books* for one lucky winner. To enter, post a comment. For an additional entry, link up and post your own Top Ten Thursday.

I love TV. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again! Here are the first lines to some of my favorite TV theme songs…Do know know the show?

10. “Making your way in the world today takes everything you’ve got. Taking a break from all your worries, sure would help a lot.”

9. “You take the good, you take the bad, you take them both and there you have ???, the ???.”

8. “Here we are, face to face, a couple of ?? Hopin’ to find, we’re two of a kind making a go, making it grow.”

7. “Tell me why, I love you like I do. Tell me who, could stop my heart as much as you.”

6. “I bet we been together for a million years, and I bet we’ll be together for a million more.”

5. “Come and knock on our door….. We’ve been waiting for you……”

4. “There’s a time for love and a time for living. You take a chance and face the wind.”

3. “So no one told you life was going to be this way. Your job’s a joke, you’re broke, you’re love life’s DOA.”

2. “Show me that smile again. (Show me that smile) Don’t waste another minute on your cryin’.”

and…

1. “Whaaaaat would you do…if I sang out of tune? Would you stand up and walk out on me?”

Do you know the answers? Let me know!

Come on, let’s play! Grab our badge in my sidebar and link up below. Use my topic or choose your own.

*Books are paperback and include: The Eight Nights of Hanukkah, Together for Kwanzaa, A Child was Born- a First Nativity book, Asleep in the Stable, Rock Star Santa, The Magic Dreidels, Mooseltoe, Christmas for the Snowman, The Night before Christmas