No, it’s not what you think…By itself, it’s not so bad, but in certain situations, it can make the most confident Mom cringe, and the most angelic child sound like a monster. What is it?

M-I-N-E. Mine. Not yours – MINE!

My oldest never went through the ‘Mine’ phase. Maybe because she never really had to share her stuff. I thought I was immune. I was smug. “My kids share” “They never take toys away” “Your kids are greedy and selfish.” Well, not really the last one…

This weekend, we visited friends who we rarely see. They have a son who is just a few months younger than Abs, and we thought they would play together so well. The day started off nicely at a block party, lots of houses, lots of toys, no need for fighting. I took Abs inside to cool off and play and the trouble began. This normally mild-mannered, sweet little girl went ape-shit when someone else got near ‘her’ toys. If another child so much as looked at something she thought seemed remotely interesting, she was off like a maniac, grabbing it from his or her hands, and screaming “Mine!” Great. Just flippin’ great.

No, no, no. I must have heard wrong. She doesn’t say that. Neither of my girls have ever really said that…Well, believe it. She said it, and everyone heard.

We left the party and went to our friends’ house for the night. Abs was sleeping, so we hoped she’d wake up in better spirits and not worry so much about claiming rights to all the toys in the house after a good night’s rest. Nope. Next morning, it was back with a vengeance. Mine, Mine, Mine! Everything was mine. Poor little guy was horrified. You know if he could talk, he’d be saying “Listen, woman, chill out. 1 – this stuff is actually MINE, but you don’t see me running around reminding you of that. 2 – You’re making your mom look completely incompetent. Did she raise you in a barn?”

Sadly, by the end of the day, he did, in fact, begin to remind Abs that she was playing with his stuff, and not hers. It didn’t go over well. What’s more fun than 2 toddlers running around yelling “mine?” Anything. Just about anything.

I hate writing thank you cards. More than I hate most other things. Does this make me ungrateful? No way…I truly appreciate gifts (and would love more, so feel free…) but I never got the need for the formality of a thank you card. I would so much rather hear someone say thanks and see them enjoy the gift than get a card with “Insert gift here” and the same words that every other gift bearer got…

Yes, I know there are exceptions…my friends, in particular…how the heck do they come up with something original to write in every card? They should be writing this blog, not me. I love getting them…everyone loves mail, but I would never get upset if I didn’t receive a card. The only exception? If I mailed a gift and didn’t deliver in personally…and ONLY because I want to know they received it. An email or a phone call would totally suffice.

I’ve been part of numerous conversations and arguments about this. I’ve been told I have no manners because I hate sending them. I’ve heard people say they will ‘Not be sending a gift next time’ because the recipient didn’t send a thank you note. Seriously? Is that why you bought the gift? To get the crappy note back? I’ll admit…cards to these grouches have been known to get lost in the mail.

One of my good friends gave a me a gift when my youngest was born, and with it, she said “Please don’t send a thank you card.” How awesome is she? I’m sure she said it while thinking “this woman is a neanderthal who can’t get on board with proper manners” but who cares? One less card to stress about.

Did I mention I DO send them? I just hate it. I struggle to find the words that are different from the last card…it takes me forever.

So friends…family…know this…I read your cards. I love getting them. I will never, I repeat NEVER, get upset if I don’t get a card from you. Save the stamp. I don’t care if every other party goer got one…you do not need to send me one. Did you say thank you? Do I see you or your child enjoy my gift? Well then, you’re welcome!