Before I had kids, I thought my wardrobe was great. Never fussy, but I thought I left the house looking respectable on most days. Why now, after 2 children, do I suddenly forget how to dress? It’s still only 2 steps, so why does pulling on sweats and a t-shirt feel so much easier than cute pants and nice shirt? My 25 year old self would kick my current self’s butt if she saw me leaving the house the way I do.

Just today, I had to go out and run an errand. Oh no! My t-shirt (actually J’s t-shirt that is too big for me) has a stain on it. So what do I do? Reach for something on my side of the closet that fits and looks cute? No way. I went in J’s t-shirt drawer and found one of his without a stain. Still too big, still too frumpy, and in the end, no easier than one of my own. And while I’m on the subject, why am I always wearing yoga pants, when, last time I checked, I don’t do yoga. I don’t even work out. Why do I even have sweat pants?

Certain things, I will not lose. My flips flops? No way – they are the only shoes I wear in the Summer. My Joe’s cropped jeans? I wear them almost every day, since I’m pretty sure I will never wear shorts again in my life. But when I shop for new things, I come home with a bunch of shirts that look like everything else I have. Since when do buttons or some sort of print make a shirt more difficult to wear? Not only am I dressing-illiterate, but I can’t shop anymore either.

My biggest fear is that we will be invited out. Anywhere. Last time I found myself out at a bar, I was wearing an oh-so-hip black cardigan sweater and checkered pants. Seriously. I don’t recall if I felt good leaving the house looking like my grandma, but I don’t think I cared at the time. I think I even made a joke about it, but am at the point where I can’t even laugh.

I wish I could be like a guinea pig on “What Not to Wear” and throw away everything that doesn’t fit or look good, but that would leave me fewer choices than I could count on one hand. Wearing the same thing every day? Almost as uncool as wearing spandex in public.